Lion Kingdom Hearts
by Talon83
Summary: This is a parody of The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride and Knigdom Hearts. ENJOY! Xatlon: Don't like? DON'T READ! Talon: Who said YOU could be in the summary?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: © Disney / Buena Vista Home Entertainment, Inc./Square Enix All rights reserved.  
All story, characters, songs etc. belong to Disney and/or their other respective owners.

Alright, this is a parody of Kingdom Hearts and The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. The cast are as follows:

Kiara - Kairi

Kovu - Sora

Simba - Roxas

Nala - Olette

Timon - Donald

Puumba - Goofy

Zazu - Riku

Vitani - Naminé

Zeara - Larxene

Nuka - Demyx

Scar - Xemnas

Rafiki - Hayner

Mufasa - Yen Sid

* * *

"Ah, Goofy, look at that little guy. A chip of the old block! And ya gotta know who's gonna raise him!" Donald said, his eyes sparkling with mirth. He couldn't wait to say hi to the newborn heir to the Destiny Rock throne.

"His parents?" Goofy guessed.

"OK, sure, get technical. But who's gonna teach him the REALLY important stuff, like how to belch, and dig for grubs. I'm tellin' ya, buddy. It's gonna be like old times: you, me, and the little guy." Donald announced happily.

"Hehe. It is a girl." Hayner snickered quietly.

"Girl" Donald said, correcting himself.

"GIRL?! Oi!" Donald and Goofy said in unison, before fainting.

* * *

"Whoah. Where do you think you're going in such a hurry?"

"Daddy, let go." an 8 year old Kairi said as she giggled.

"Now, I just want you to be careful."

"Kairi, are you listening? Accidents can happen. You could easily get-" Roxas said as he went into lecture mode.

"Get hurt or stepped on, or even get lost." Kairi interrupted, then, finished the lecture for him.

"And remember, I want you to stay in sight of—" he began again.

0"Of Destiny Rock at ALL times, I know. And if I see any strangers, don't talk to them, come straight home. OK, OK, can I go now, PLEASE?" said Kairi, interrupting for the second time.

"Hm, hm, VERY funny." He said.

"Mind your father, Kairi." Olette said, having just come outside.

"Yes, Mom." Kairi said, rolling her eyes.

"And stay away from the Lands That Never Were." Roxas warned cryptically.

"Nothing there, but a bunch of backstabbing, murderous Nobodies." Riku, Roxas' advisor, added. He had just entered the courtyard himself.

"Riku's right. You can't turn your back on them." Roxas agreed.

"Really? How come?" Kairi asked, curious.

-Sigh- "Never mind. Just run along now." Roxas said wearily.

"But, Dad, I-" Kairi stammered.

"You'll understand someday." he said.

"Daaaaaaad..." she whined. She rushed down the castle steps toward the forest.

"And stay on the path I've marked for you!" he called after her.

"Now, Roxas, who does she remind you of?" Olette said knowingly.

"Huh? What? ... Who?" Roxas said, clearly confused.

"She JUST like your were when you were young." she said.

"Exactly. Do you realize the dangers we put ourselves in?" he asked worriedly.

"You mean the dangers YOU put us in." she said, playfully pushing him,

"She'll be fine." she assuring him. Olette went inside, with Riku trailing her. Once she was gone, Roxas turned to Goofy and Donald, who were on the other side of the courtyard.

"Donald. Goofy. C'mere!"

"Good morning, mon capitan!" Donald cheerfully greeted Roxas.

"I want you to keep a close watch on Kairi. You know she's BOUND to run off." he told them.

"Don't worry, Roxas. We're on her like fleas on a dog!" Donald said.

"Hey!" Goofy indignantly protested.

"It's a hard truth, Goofy. Live with it." Donald told him.

"Guys. I'm counting on you." Roxas insisted, "Danger could be lurking behind every rock." He then went inside.

* * *

"Hey! Wait, come back. I just wanna play!" Kairi insisted to a fox, that she happened to be chasing, "The mighty hunter has cornered her prey..." she said preparing to jump at it.

"Arrehhh..." she said, jumping, "huh?" She now had a clear view of a desolate, barren wasteland: the Lands That Never Were.

"Whoa... cool. The Lands That Never Were... I wonder what's out there." she muttered.

Unbeknownst to her however, Donald and Goofy where creeping up behind her.

"AAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!" Kairi screamed, and she promptly fell into the pond behind her.

"Oh, don't worry, Kairi! Uncle Goofy's coming!!" He said jumping in after her.

"Oh, no! Ah, ah, oah. Let's see. Gee, Roxas, the good news is we found your daughter. The bad news is we dropped a huge dog on her... is... there... a problem... with that...?" Donald said nervously.

"Kairi? Kairi?" said Goofy as he looked around.

"Goofy. Let me define 'baby sitting'!!" Donald yelled.

"Now, Princess Kairi, as Roxas' daughter, you know better than to run off all alone. You could have been hurt." Goofy said.

"Hurt! Roxas would kill us. You didn't slip a disc, didja? Catch a fever? Get a hang nail?" Donald fussed.

"Donnnald..." Kairi began.

"I had one once." Donald continued.

"Very painful." Goofy added.

"Will somebody please just LISTEN to me?" Kairi said.

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Didja say something, princess?" said Donald.

"I'm not JUST a princess, ya know. That's only HALF of who I am!" Kairi protested,

"HEY! What's that!!" she said, pointing. She ran off to the Lands That Never Were. She then proceeded to run into something... or someone.

YAY!! Cliffhanger!

Xatlon: I just LOVE cliffhangers, don't you? Anyway, on to more important things!! I have a name now!!

Talon: She was formerly known as Talon's Nobody. Anyway, R&R!

Xatlon: We welcome constructive criticism with open arms. Flames are prohibited. Flamers WILL be shot. Survivors will be shot AGAIN.

Talon: This would not have been possible without Onyxthegreat6 of You Tube.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: © Disney / Buena Vista Home Entertainment, Inc./Square Enix All rights reserved.  
All story, characters, songs etc. belong to Disney and/or their other respective owners.

Alright, this is a parody of Kingdom Hearts and The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. The cast are as follows:

Kiara - Kairi

Kovu - Sora

Simba - Roxas

Nala - Olette

Timon - Donald

Puumba - Goofy

Zazu - Riku

Vitani - Naminé

Zeara - Larxene

Nuka - Demyx

Scar - Xemnas

Rafiki – Hayner

Mufasa - Yen Sid

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. Didja say something, princess?" said Donald.

"I'm not JUST a princess, ya know. That's only HALF of who I am!" Kairi protested,

"HEY! What's that!!" she said, pointing. She ran off to the Lands That Never Were. She then proceeded to run into something... or someone.

"You are you? ... Destinylander." the boy, whose hair seemed to defy gravity, growled dangerously.

"What are you doing?" he said, giving Kairi a 'what the heck?!' look.

"My Father says to never turn your back on a Nobody!" she declared.

"You always do what daddy says?" he taunted.

"NO!" she cried indignantly.

"Bet you DO, bet you're 'daddy's little girl'. Ha ha." he said condescendingly.

"A Nobody doesn't need anybody, I take care of myself." he said, smirking.

"Really? Cool." she said.

"AAHHH!!" they screamed. A pack of Heartless had found them.

"Run!" he said.

"This way!" she said, leading him by the arm towards the Destiny Lands. Huffing and puffing, they slowed their pace.

"That was a close one." he said.

"Yeah." she agreed.

LATER, AFTER MUCH VIOLENCE:

"Man, did you see the size of those TEETH? They were going rawr, rawr, rawr, hehe hehe. I jumped on his head and I popped him so good... and we make such a good team. And you were really brave..." Kairi said.

"Yeah, you were pretty brave too. My name's Sora." he said with a smile.

"I'm Kairi." she responded, "Tag! You're it! Tag, you're it, you're it! He, he, he..." not receiving a response, she tried again: "HELLO? You run, I tag, get it? What's the matter? Don't you know how to play?" she said. She was rewarded with another 'what the heck?!' look.

"Ohh." she said.

Kairi dropped into a fighting stance. Sora seemed to relax a bit, "Grrr." he said playfully.

"YYYAAAHHHHHH!!" Roxas charged at Sora, Oathkeeper and Oblivion drawn. A dark portal appeared in between Sora and Roxas. A woman in a black cloak appeared from inside the lighting. She stood protectively in front of Sora.

"Larxene." Roxas growled.

"Roxas?" Larxene said with lethal glee. She prepared to strike, but then saw that Roxas had brought others.

"Olette."

"Larxene." Olette hissed.

"Donald. Goofy." Donald said, "Great, now that we all know each other... GET OUT OF OUR DESTINYLANDS!!"

"YOUR Destinylands?! These lands belong to XEMNAS!!" Larxene hissed with no small amount of anger.

"I banished you from the Destinylands. Now you, and your young child, GET OUT." Roxas demanded.

"Oh. Haven't you met my son, Sora? He was hand-chosen by Xenams to follow in his footprints, and become king." she angrily declared. Roxas growled at the child. Sora whimpered, shaking.

"Pfft. That's not a king." Donald said, "It's a spiky haired maraca."

"SORA was the last born, before YOU exiled us to the Lands That Never Were. Where we have little food, less water." Larxene said.

"You know the penalty for returning to the Destinylands!" Roxas accused.

"But the child does NOT." she countered.

"However," she continued, "if you NEED your pound of flesh;" she pushed Sora towards Roxas, "here." Roxas looked at the frightened child.

"Take him, and get out." Roxas said, "We're finished here." He turned to Kairi.

"Oh, no, Roxas. We have barely begun..." Larxene said, cackling. She turned, took Sora's hand, and a dark portal, they were gone.

The rest went towards the castle. Olette turned, "Roxas?" He gestured for her to go on ahead. He looked at Kairi.

"Hehe..." she laughed nervously, flashing him a cheesy grin. His frown didn't waver.

"Kairi, what did you think you were doing?" he questioned, "You could have been killed today."

"But, Daddy, I didn't mean to disob-" she began.

"I'm telling you this because I love you," he explained, "I don't want to lose you."

"I know..." she said sadly.

"If something happened to you," he hugged her, "I don't know what I'd do."

"One day, I won't be here, and I need you to carry on in my place." he said sadly, "You are part of The Great Circ-"

"- Circle of Life," she tiredly recited, "I know."

"Exactly. And you need to be careful." he went into lecture mode, "As future queen-"

"What if I DON'T wanna be queen? It's no fun..." she whined.

"That's like saying you don't want to be a Keyblade wielder. It's in your blood, as I am." he countered, "We are part of each other." She huffed. He pushed her into a bush, then flashed her his own cheesy grin. She smiled back, hugging him.

(A/N: Singing – _Roxas _Kairi)

_As you go through life you'll see,_

_There is so much that we,_

_Don't understand._

_And the only thing we know,_

_Is that things don't always go,_

_The way we plan._

_But you'll see every day,_

_That we'll never turn away._

_When it seems,_

_All your dreams,_

_Come undone._

_We will stand by your side,_

_Filled with hope,_

_And filled with pride._

_We are more than we are,_

_We are one._

If there's so much I must be,

Can I still just be me?

The way I am?

Can I trust in my own heart?

Or am I just one part,

Of some big plan?

_Even those who are gone,_

_Are with us as we go on._

_Your journey has_

_Only begun._

_Tears of pain,_

_Tears of joy._

_One thing nothing_

_Can destroy:_

_Is our pride._

_Deep inside,_

_We are one!_

_We are one,_

_You and I._

_We are like the earth and sky._

_One family under the sun._

_All the wisdom to lead,_

_All the courage that you need,_

_You will find when_

_You see:_

_We are one._

"As long as you live here," Roxas told her, "it's who you are. You'll understand someday."

* * *

Xatlon: We welcome constructive criticism with open arms. Flames are prohibited. Flamers WILL be shot. Survivors will be shot AGAIN.

Talon: This would not have been possible without Onyxthegreat6 of You Tube.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: © Disney / Buena Vista Home Entertainment, Inc./Square Enix All rights reserved.  
All story, characters, songs etc. belong to Disney and/or their other respective owners.

Alright, this is a parody of Kingdom Hearts and The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. The cast are as follows:

Kiara - Kairi

Kovu - Sora

Simba - Roxas

Nala - Olette

Timon - Donald

Puumba - Goofy

Zazu - Riku

Vitani - Naminé

Zeara - Larxene

Nuka - Demyx

Scar - Xemnas

Rafiki - Hayner

Mufasa - Yen Sid

* * *

Later, at the Lands That Never Were: "Sora, Sora, Sora. Xemnas wasn't even his father, he just took him in." Demyx complained. He spotted Naminé.

"Oh, hey, Naminé, where's little Dusk Sora?" He said, "The CHOSEN one." He then proceeded to push her shoulder, ruining her drawing. He cackled.

"Demyx. Where's Sora? Did you leave him out there on his own again?!" Naminé interrogated.

"Hey, it's every Nobody for himself out here. That little Dusk's gotta learn to be on his own." Demyx declared.

"Mother's gonna be MAD, she TOLD you to WATCH him!!" she yelled.

"Oh, who cares?! I should have been the chosen one! I'm the oldest, I'm the strongest, I'm the smartest. I COULD BE A LEADER, IF SHE'D JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE." he complained. Naminé scoffed, "Yeah, right. Why don't you tell that to her?"

"Yeah?! Don't think I won't!" Demyx declared.

"Yeah?" Naminé snickered, "Here's your chance."

"Wha? Oh, Mother, Mother hi! Mother, I caught some fish for your dinner. I left them by the- um, by the, okay..." Demyx rambled as Larxene walked right past him.

"Hey, Sora. Want to fight?" Naminé challenged.

"You were supposed to be WATCHING HIM!!" Larxene yelled.

"It's not his fault, I went off on my own." Sora defended.

"WHAT were you doing?" Larxene berated.

"Nothing." Sora said, scared.

"Who has made us Nobodies?" Larxene asked.

"Roxas." Sora answered.

"Who killed Xemnas?" Larxene hissed.

"Roxas." Sora replied, terrified.

"What have I told you about THEM?!" she yelled.

"I'm sorry, Mother. S-she didn't seem so bad." he stammered, "I-I thought we could be-"

"FRIENDS?!" she yelled, "You thought you'd get to the daughter, and Roxas would welcome you with open arms?! What an idea -Gasp- What an IDEA! You BRILLIANT child! I'm SO proud of you; you have the same conniving mind that made Xemnas so powerful." Looking down at him with glee, she took his hand and put him to bed.

* * *

"Now see the path to our GLORIOUS return to POWER." she announced to the assembled warriors.

"But I don't want-" Sora began.

"HUSH!" Larxene said corrected herself, "Hush, my little one. You must be exhausted."

(A/N: Singing- _Larxene _Demyx **Naminé ****Naminé Demyx** _**Larxene Demyx Naminé **_)

_Sleep my little Sora,_

_Let your dreams take wing._

_One day when you're big and strong,_

_You will be a king._

"Good night." Sora said timidly.

"Goodnight my little prince," Larxene said, "tomorrow your training intensifies."

_I've been exiled, persecuted,_

_Left alone with no defense._

_When I think of what that BRUTE did,_

_I get a little tense._

_But I dream a dream so pretty,_

_That I don't feel so depressed._

_Cause it soothes my inner kitty._

_And it helps me get some rest._

_The sound of Roxas' dieing gasp,_

_His daughter squealing in my grasp,_

_His queen's mournful cry!_

_That's my lullaby!_

_Now, the past I've forgetting,_

_And my foes I could forgive._

_Trouble is,_

_I know it's petty,_

_But I hate to let them live._

So you found yourself somebody,

To chase Roxas up a tree.

_Oh, the battle may be bloody,_

_But that kind of works for me._

_The melody of angry growls,_

_A counterpoint of pain filled howls._

_A symphony of death, oh, my!_

_That's my lullaby!_

_Xemnas is gone,_

_But Larxene's still around._

_To love this little lad,_

_Until he learns to be a killer,_

_With a lust for being bad._

Sleep, ya little dusk!

Uh, I mean precious little thing!

**One day when you're big and strong-**

_He will be a king!_

_The pounding of the drums of war!_

_The thrill of Sora's mighty roar!_

The joy of vengeance!

**Testify!**

_I can hear the cheering!_

**Sora, what guy!**

_Then that time is nearing!_

_And then our flag will fly,_

_Against a blood-red sky!_

_**THAT'S MY LULLABY!!

* * *

**_

**Xatlon**: We welcome constructive criticism with open arms. Flames are prohibited. Flamers WILL be shot. Survivors will be shot AGAIN.

**Talon**: This would not have been possible without Onyxthegreat6 of You Tube.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: © Disney / Buena Vista Home Entertainment, Inc. / Square Enix. All rights reserved. All story, characters, songs etc. belong to Disney and/or their other respective owners.

Alright, this is a parody of Kingdom Hearts and The Lion King 2: Simba's Pride. The cast are as follows:

Kiara - Kairi

Kovu - Sora

Simba - Roxas

Nala - Olette

Timon - Donald

Puumba - Goofy

Zazu - Riku

Vitani - Naminé

Zeara – Larxene

Nuka - Demyx

Scar - Xemnas

Rafiki - Hayner

Mufasa - Yen Sid

* * *

Hayner sat on the hill that his hut occupied as he talked to the spirit of Yen Sid – Roxas' father. "Oh, Yen Sid, everyday Kairi grows more beautiful; into a queen that will someday make us all very proud." Hayner said, then he frowned, "But this child Sora grows stronger, and Larxene fills his heart with hate. I am very worried, Yen Sid, thing are not going well, no." A breeze ruffled his hair. "Hm? You have a plan? What? Sora? Kairi? Together? This is the plan?" He paused. "ARE YOU CRAZY?! THIS WILL NEVER WORK!" he yelled, "Oh, Yen Sid, You've been up there too long, your head is in the clouds!" The wind blew hard in his face. "OK, OK, OK, alright, OK!" he said admitting defeat, "I don't think this is going to work, but I trust you." The breeze flew up into the sky as he called after it: "I JUST HOPE YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING!"

* * *

"You are ready! Nice, very nice!" Larxene said as she circled an 18 year old Sora, "You have the same blackness in your soul that Xemnas had. What is your destiny?"

"I will avenge Xemnas; take his place in the Destinylands." Sora replied.

"Yes. What have I taught you?" Larxene asked.

"Roxas is the enemy." Sora answered.

"And what, must, you, DO?" Larxene asked with lethal glee.

"I must KILL him." Sora said; a burning hatred in his eyes. All of the exiled Nobodies roared in approval.

* * *

Meanwhile off at Destiny Rock, A celebration was underway: Princess Kairi's first heartless hunt.

"Hmm. You'll do just fine." Olette told her daughter lovingly as she hugged Kairi. Kairi looked over her mother's shoulder at her father.

"Daddy? You have to promise to let me do this on my own. Promise?" Roxas looked to his wife, Olette in turn, gave him one of her patented 'well, go on' looks.

"Alright. –sigh– I promise." he said. She ran to her father and hugged him run to the gate. Kairi turned to look happily at them once more before running to the plains. He watched her go before turning to Donald and Goofy.

"Make sure she doesn't get hurt." he told them.

Kairi was in the tall grass watching a pack of heartless. She drew her Keyblade, preparing to strike. But then, she went snapped a twig. Loudly. Alerted to her presence, they ran as she pursued them.

* * *

At the same time events were unfolding at the Keyblade Graveyard, "This place is even creepier since the chasers ran off." Demyx shuddered. Naminé rolled her eyes.

"I'm not scared, OK. –EEP!!– I just don't get why we have to be here, that's all. If Sora's so SPECIAL, why does he need us? I never had a CHANCE!" Demyx said. Having found two Keyblades that could shoot fire, (A/N: Yes, I know that Keyblades choose their wielders. My story, my rules.) Naminé handed him one.

"Well, come on. Kairi has started her hunt, we have to move quickly." Demyx took the Keyblade and looked at the end. It blasted him.

"WHOA!! FIRE!!" he yelled as he ran to catch up with Naminé.

* * *

"Tango, Charlie, Alpha. What's your position?" Donald ask Goofy, who was in the bushes nearby.

"Uh... Head turned slightly to the left. Tail, erect." Goofy reported. Slapping a hand to his forehead, Donald muttered

"Why do I bother?" Looking through a telescope, he located Kairi and said "Ah ha." Kairi was stalking another pack of heartless. She saw a loose rock and stepped over it, but she accidentally hit it with her other foot. They, too, were made aware of her location, and bolted. Kairi gave chase once more. Unfortunately for Donald and Goofy, the heartless ran towards them: "AAAHHHHHHH!!" they shrieked. Once they were gone, the duo looked after them.

"This must be where the deer and the antelope play!" Donald declared. The pair turned around, and saw Kairi breathing heavily. Donald laughed nervously.

"Donald, What are you doing here?" she demanded.

"Ehh... Shopping. We thought a nice pelt for den." Goofy nodded.

"Some throw pillows, a little poppery...?" he lied hopefully.

"My Father sent you. After he PROMISED to let me do this on my own; he LIED!" she deduced, correctly.

"No... He just doesn't want you to get hurt." Donald futilely explained. "I should have known he'd never give me a real chance!" She angrily declared, "I'll do this on my own; AWAY from the Destinylands!" She pushed past them, and ran off. The duo stood for a moment, stunned.

"Hey, wait. Come back!" they cried, and chased her, all the while pleading for her to return. Then, they lost her.

"Oh. She's gone AGAIN! Somebody's gotta get a beeper for this kid!" Donald panted.

* * *

She ran into the view of Demyx and Naminé. "Let's light FIRE!!" Demyx eagerly said. Naminé snickered as she lit a path of fire that would herd the princess towards Sora.

"Wha ha-ha!! Roasted tasty princess. Roasted tasty princess!" Demyx said to himself in a sing-song voice. "Hey is it hot in here, or is that just me?" Demyx asked. His hair was on fire, but he put it out with some water. He then dumped water all over himself so he could get through the fire. Naminé rolled her eyes. How typical of Demyx to light a ring of fire around himself.

"Come on!" she hissed, dragging him away.

* * *

Kairi was chasing the heartless, again. She had not made any noise but they ran anyway. Suddenly, every animal in the forest was running towards her at top speed. a few seconds later she saw why: a fire. She turned and ran as well. A mile or so away, two figures stood alone. Both were wearing cloaks, hiding their identities. "The plan is in motion." The first figure said, revealing herself to be Larxene, "Go." The second remained silent, but started running towards the princess.

* * *

Back at Destiny Rock Castle, Roxas was in front of the gates, pacing. "Don't worry, Roxas. She'll be fine. What could happen?" Riku said, trying to assure the restless monarch. Roxas turned to pace some more, then did a double take: the plains were on fire.

"No. NO!" Roxas yelled, "Kairi!!" He dashed off to the plains. "Riku! Teleport ahead! Find her!" he instructed.

* * *

Kairi, in the meantime, was running, trying to escape the wildfire. She skidded to a halt because her path was blocked. Then she took a sharp turn right and continued to run at top speed. She came to a fire free spot, but then began to cough and hack because of the smoke. She collapsed. Before she passed out, however, she saw a cloaked figure standing over her. He growled. She finally passed out. He squatted down beside her and picked her up. Adjusting his hold on her, he held her as though he were giving her a piggy-back ride. He then proceeded to run at an alarming speed. He couldn't stop fast enough to avoid falling into a river, however. He lost his hold on her and she began to sink. Taking a deep breath, he dove after her. Holding the back of her shirt, he swam to the opposite shore. Riku teleported to the edge of the hill that the two had just tumbled down. Seeing the princess: "I must tell Roxas!" he said to himself anxiously. He teleported away.

The still cloaked man dragged the princess ashore. She coughed a few times before asking no one in particular, "Where am I?"

* * *

**Talon**: As usual, this fic would not have been possible without Onyxthegreat6 of YouTube

**Xatlon**: CLIFFHANGER!!

**Talon**: We welcome constructive criticism with open arms. Flames are prohibited. Flamers WILL be shot. Survivors will be shot AGAIN. We MEAN it!

**Xatlon**: Solar Sisters, Yunagirlamy, We're sorry that we yelled at you. We DID put in a disclaimer, ya'know!

**Talon**: OOOH! Rai moment!!


End file.
